Our Hope Is Within God

Most of you know me as the lady behind Ladybug Wreaths. You may have even read my book or followed my blog posts as I’ve shared my journey through fibromyalgia. I’ve spoken about my successes and some of my failures. But rarely do I speak about the really dark years, the ones where God allowed me to sink to the bottom of the "pit" with no hope of a better life.

Or at least, I thought there was no hope. God knew better.

My husband Steve and I no longer had a life together. We were strangers in the same house growing further and further apart with each passing year. Neither of us could understand my illness with all of its debilitating pain and strange peculiarities. How could Steve understand what I was going through when I couldn't even understand it myself to explain it to him? And then God reached out His hand to us.

Only by God’s power did our marriage survive the attacks from Satan. God is using this experience now in both of us, not only for the sake of our marriage, but to encourage others.

So many of you are battling chronic illnesses, and even for those who aren’t, you still might be facing tremendous hurt in your marriages. Allow God to speak to your heart this Christmas. Be open to His plan for your life and your marriage, whatever it may be.

My blog, my website, and our story reach people from all over the world; people in pain and have no hope. Our hope is within God, and we gladly share that with you. He has poured His miracles down upon us by giving my husband a new heart, and a new understanding, along with an undying – cherishing, forever-after kind of love! And me – well, I have a healthier body along with courage built on a determination and strength that I never knew I possessed.

Ours is a very painful and personal story…but one that we feel God wants us to share with those who are desperately searching for the answer in their painful lives. I share the details in my book, My Journey Through Fibromyalgia. But for today, I encourage you to pray with your spouse, if they’re willing, for God to restore your marriage. Pray alone, if you have to.

God is listening and He cares about your broken heart. Mine was so broken at one time that I thought it could never be mended. But by God's own strong and tender hands, He did so. I believe He will do this for anyone suffering from a broken heart who puts their faith in Him. God's strong, gentle hands can change lives, molding the pieces of your life back together even while you are experiencing deep hurt. He can miraculously make us whole (and sometimes better than we were before) by reaching into our soul, making our lives more beautiful, more fulfilling, and more meaningful than we could have ever possibly imagined.

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. Ephesians 3:20-21

My prayer for you this Christmas is one of joy, peace, and reconciliation. Life is short and peace is scarce in our world. May you rest in the supernatural peace found in the birth of our Savior.

God bless,



Looking Back… Thank you God That I am Tired…

Looking Back…
This blog post was written almost 8 years ago.  It was the day when "My Secret Vendors" was first released. This first release contained 200 pages.  Now, after 7 rewrites, it contains OVER 750 pages of my "SECRETS" 


"Thank You God" By, Nancy Alexander

That I Am Tired

Where Do I Start? I'll start where every good thing in our lives comes from — God. 

Knowing that I can and do get up every single morning and put on the "full armor of God" fills me with such security and confidence.  It ensures that I can have a day filled with Happiness and Joy which come from God's grace.  Now, that doesn't mean that I don't have bad days, I DO!  That doesn't mean that I don't slip back into the past very often and have to battle with "the evil one", I DO!  That does not mean that I don't slide down that "slippery slope" quite often that Beth Moore describes in her Bible Studies, because I DO!

It does mean that I have a Father who loves me beyond words…He is always there in my life holding out a hand to pull me out and rescue me…He is always there to soothe my broken heart…He is always there pouring blessings and miracles upon me that I certainly do not now, nor ever will deserve.

He had to choose between his "two loves" when he sent his son onto this earth!  How could a Father choose between His two loves:  one – flesh of His own flesh, and the other – His children created by Him to love and worship Him, and that He could also love and cherish in return.

I am speechless…I am in awe…that He chose His son to feel our pain and give His life so that there could be an open pathway flowing between us and our Father every single second of every single day for the rest of our lives.

God has worked such miracles in my family that there are way too many to list, and way too many to go into.  But I will say that during these last two years, He has made His presence known to us in such a way that leaves me amazed!

My husband, Steve, and I have just completed an exciting project together which was totally inspired by God — there is no other explanation.  We found that we could work side by side at our computers, electronically sharing and writing on the same pages at once.  With my strengths multiplying his weaknesses, and Steve's strengths doing the same for mine…well, that is something so wonderful we were blessed to share!  We enjoyed these (literally hundreds) of hours together and finished with an e-Book, a project that we never would have guessed could come to fruition.  And, we ended up with ideas to write at least 10 more books!

You see, God's hand was with us in this from the very beginning!  He sent people into our lives at just the right time when they were needed:  Jim Cockrum from (an Internet Entrepreneur), who is so well known because of his honest and knowledgeable style — and who also charges $700 an hour just for a phone consultation; Linda Joseph from (our coach), a very smart entrepreneur in her own right, a patient God-loving woman, who has handled so much of the technical "stuff" we didn't know how to do, or have the time to learn; and John Ritskowitz from (an amazing copywriter whom we were so blessed to be able to work with).  And, no, we could not afford these wonderfully brilliant people God sent into our paths, but He figured out a way!

Today was the "launch" date for this new book: "Secret Vendor List", where I totally and completely reveal ALL of my secrets and suppliers I worked 25 years to obtain.  In the wholesale/retail world, this is just NOT done!  Each retailer researches, studies, walks the halls in the large National Markets looking for the best suppliers with the best prices.  You know…the ones you can really trust!  Those are so hard to find these days!  I have felt led by God for some time with a soft spot in my heart for my customers…there is an attachment with them which I cannot explain…some really need help and that help just may be me.  So many of them are at places in their lives right now where I was for many years, and that is not a very pleasant or happy place to be.

Through our work (together, side-by-side) on this 200 page book, plus two more smaller e-Books, Steve and I have been working into the wee hours of the morning, and then jumping out of bed with a start the next morning to complete this amazing task.  Last night was one of those late nights, and this morning…well, another early morning.  So much to be done; newsletters to write; web pages to be redone; older e-Books to be revised and rewritten, auto-responders to be set up, and so much more!

Now…the joys…and amazement come as I am watching the "stats" as people come to my website and my blog from all over the world – 20 different countries so far!  I am answering emails about sales and downloads…I just feel so humbled that God reached down into our broken lives two years ago and changed them in such amazing ways! He has a plan for us.  He has a path for us…and we will certainly, blindly follow Him on this path for the rest of our lives knowing more Joy and Happiness awaits us than we can begin to imagine!


This is why I can thank God that I am tired! 


NOTE:  "My Secret Vendors" is even more popular today than it was when it was written.  Here is the link if you wish more information:​

Are You Afraid of Success? Don’t Let Fear Hold You Back!

I’ve talked about my illness many times and how debilitating it could be. For years, fear held me back. I had a host of excuses lined up as to why I had every right to be afraid of failure. I didn’t think I “had what it took” – strength and determination. I didn’t want to be seen as a failure. I talk about my fears and weaknesses in my book, “My Journey Through Fibromyalgia: Rumors, Ravages & The Rescue.”

The fact is everyone has something that holds them back. It doesn’t have to be health issues or low self-esteem issues that dragged me down.

When my health improved, I finally realized that, yes, I really wanted to be successful. But the thought of being successful was fearful, too. You might be thinking, “Who would be afraid of succeeding?”

Success would bring a lot of changes. What if I succeeded and wasn’t prepared for all that went along with my “success?” It would bring attention to who I am – to what I do. What if I’m not the person others think I am?     

The questions rushed at me: “What if I do succeed?” “What would I do then?” “How would I handle it?”

The answers to those questions were slow coming to me. It took over seven years to step out of my comfort zone.

Well, actually, it really helps when someone pushes you out of your comfort zone! Knowing that I am in God’s will certainly doesn’t hurt, because I can trust that I have exactly what I need, exactly when I need it. Still, I let fear interfere with my decisions.

Several years ago, my friend Jim Cockrum, recognized as the most trusted Internet marketer and author of Silent Sales Machine, had this “grand” idea for me to start filming instructional videos. I was scared to death. There was no way I would have considered trying without that nudge.

My first video attempt didn’t turn out like I planned. Ten minutes into taping, my assistant made me throw away twenty poster boards with everything I thought I needed to say. Without the posters, and with flowers and a wreath in my hands, I talked for two hours non-stop. The videographer had to stop me so he could take a break.

That first video is still on YouTube and has now been viewed 147,120 times! And, yes there are many more videos. Last summer, views on my YouTube Channel flew past one million! I am still amazed!

The next time I was really pushed out of my comfort zone was when the Chamber of Commerce Business Women asked me to speak before their luncheon. I turned them down three times before relenting. Terrified, I carried pages of notes.

Guess what? I never even looked at the notes. I made eye contact instead and was a resounding success.

But the biggest challenge was when Jim Cockrum asked me to speak at his major conference in Orlando, Florida, two years ago. Was I scared? Oh yeah! But I did it. That video is also on YouTube.

You never know what you are capable of accomplishing until you try. Just turn your past loose and step out! Step Up!

I know you can do it!

Healing Broken Hearts

"Healing Broken Hearts" By, Nancy Alexander

By God's Own Strong, Tender Hands

I just came across this quote… and oh, how it touched me so deeply.  It talks about broken hearts…like mine which was in pieces so small I thought it could never be mended back together again.  But by God's own strong and tender hands, He "is" molding it back together.  I believe He will do this for anyone who is suffering from a broken heart who puts their faith in Him.  God's strong, gentle hands CAN change lives, molding the pieces of your life back together even while you are experiencing hurts and pains.  He can miraculously make us whole (and much better than we were before) by reaching deep into our soul, making our lives more beautiful, more fulfilling and more meaningful than we could have ever possibly imagined — I know… He is doing this for me and this change "is" a beautiful thing!

"I have a theory:  all people have had their hearts broken by actions of others as well as choices they have made themselves.  By learning from those situations and being able to work through them and come out of them, we grow our character.  By picking up the pieces of a broken life and putting them back together, a person cannot help but be changed.  This change is a beautiful thing that results in a deeper understanding of others and their situations, and gives us a chance to share our experiences with them, showing them that there is a way-out – a light at the end of the tunnel.  I believe that I have been not just broken, but put back together by God in a beautiful way — a way that I never could have imagined on my own — and I wanted to share that sense of hope and peace with whoever happens to read this…"  ~ Molly Alexander

Can You Win in the Fight Against Fibromyalgia? Yes, You Can…Because I Am!




"Can you Win the Fight Against Fibromyalgia?" By, Nancy Alexander

Yes You Can – Because I am

Have you ever gone through something in your life that was so agonizing that you just don't enjoy discussing it with anyone, and certainly don't want to get into a discussion of its details?  Hardly a day goes by without a customer asking me about a certain medical issue, because they want and need my help with this same issue in their lives.  As they pour out their circumstances to me, I know how they feel.  The problem is, I know exactly how they feel! 


They may think that my problem isn't as debilitating as theirs is or that their condition is more serious than my own.  But they are still interested in hearing what I have done to feel better, because inside they want to believe that that will help them, too.  We all think our problems are worse than the next person's, don't we?  Truth be told, if we all dumped our problems on the ground and could see everyone else's, we would probably gladly take ours up and go back home with them.  But today, God is leading me to finally write to you and discuss truthfully what my life has been like for the last 30 years…with Fibromyalgia.


Fibromyalgia.  To most people, that is just a word describing a condition that they may have only heard about.  You may have heard it affects your muscles…or was it the joints?  Others may know it is an auto immune disorder.  Most know that it involves muscle and joint pain to some degree.  Some of you may think, if those with Fibromyalgia just took better care of themselves, they wouldn't have come down with it in the first place. 


Sadly, most people (and still a lot of doctors!) do not know much about Fibromyalgia.  Not too many years back, most doctors could or would not treat you because they knew very little about this disorder themselves.  They tried to define it in terms they knew.  Terms like "depression", the "blues" or "housewife syndrome", for pete's sake!  Well-meaning friends and family would say, "Just give it some time" or "don't dwell on it…get on with your life."  Can you believe I actually have heard those comments and more?  And some of those came from doctors!  Most everyone who has struggled with Fibromyalgia has heard the same, if not worse. 


I was twenty-eight years old when this first hit me.  The first doctor I went to — a very well known, respected doctor in town — actually had the nerve to tell me I had "housewife syndrome".  WHAT IS HOUSEWIFE SYNDROME????? I wasn't stupid!  There is no such thing!!!  But he proceeded to start giving and trying every single anti-depressant known to man at that time.  I felt soooo bad that I did exactly what he said with no questions asked.  THAT WAS MY FIRST MISTAKE!  Ladies…I do not make those mistakes anymore!  I am responsible for my health, and I am the only one who can make it my mission in life to find the cause and eradicate it!  No one else, no matter how much you like and respect them, has the time or the inclination to research this for you.


So, back to my doctor.  Instead of helping me, by doing the only thing he knew to do, he made me much worse than I was when I first visited his office.  After a while, not only was I trying a different anti-depressant every two weeks to a month or so, but I was also trying every muscle relaxer along with any other kind of drug he could think of. 


I had gone from a healthy (or so I thought) young woman one week, to one who could hardly stand up to get off the couch or get out of the bed within a week.  I was used to having lots of energy.  Before Fibromyalgia, I took care of two children, was involved in my church, dug and planted my own garden, froze & canned vegetables, made pickles and jellies, cooked three meals a day, cut the grass, washed and waxed the car, painted the house, put up wall-paper, recovered my couch, and so much more.  But this was all taken away from me within one week when this silent enemy attacked!


Along with the pain, muscle spasms and unbelievable weakness came what they then called "panic attacks".  So…since no one knew what was causing all of my physical pain and muscle problems, doctors started treating me for panic attacks and anxiety saying that was the cause of ALL my problems.  I do know that many people have panic attacks, but please listen!  Some panic attacks are the result of other major health problems going on in your body that you have no control over and so, they go untreated.  This major undiagnosed and untreated health problem, along with the stress that went along with it, caused my panic attacks. 


Misdiagnosis and mistreatment of Fibromyagia was the norm years ago.  I'm convinced that there are still many doctors who remain uneducated of its true nature, as well as much of the preventative and corrective measures that could help patients today.  I started seeing my family doctor about 7 years ago.  He is our friend and neighbor and told me honestly on my very first visit:  "I don't know much about Fibromyalgia.  As a matter of fact, I am sure you know much more about it than I do, but I am willing to listen to you, and refer you to any doctor you ask me to.  And, I am also willing to try any treatment that your Internet research leads you to think might help."  This is a very unusual response from a doctor, but was exactly what I wanted and needed.  A doctor who believed me and was willing to let me assist in my own treatment.  For those of you suffering from Fibromyalgia, I hope your own family doctor is that open minded.  But to complete your treatment, you need to be referred to doctors who specialize in auto immune diseases.


More tomorrow…….. December 19, 2010

This subject is so painful and hard to write about, I must divide it into sections, so please excuse the fact that I cannot write it all at one time.  I suppose I could have held onto this post until it was completed, but so many women are wanting a response from me, I just couldn't do that — so I will write as much as I can each day until you really know and understand how this "secret" disease affected me and how I researched and studied until I found the right doctors who knew how to help me.

I call it "secret" because it is.  People whose bodies are attacked by this don't want to talk about it — or at least they didn't then.  And, do you know why?  I was ashamed…yes…my doctors had made me ashamed that I couldn't control what was going on within my body.  If you have this, please do not be ashamed!  Please do not be afraid to talk about it to your friends, family, loved ones, or anyone else who is truly concerned.  It is not your fault!  You did nothing to cause this malady to strike you!  You ARE NOT losing your mind, as I thought I was for many years!

My husband did not understand…although he tried.  He listened to what all of the specialists believed was wrong and thought I should follow their instructions exactly.  It was so hard for him to believe that their drugs and their treatments were "killing" me.  Do I blame him? NO, Absolutely Not!!!!  How could I expect him to understand what was going on with me when I didn't know myself…when the doctors themselves didn't know what was going on!  How could I explain this to him or anyone else when I did not have the answers myself.  I just KNEW within my heart and soul that there was something seriously wrong with me — something that no one could find — and truthfully were not really looking very hard to find!
Their answer was still drugs.

I prayed to God…oh how I prayed to God!  I pleaded with God:  "Is there a lesson you want me to learn from this?  If so, my mind is open and I am willing to do anything you desire for me.  Have I not been a good enough Christian, a good enough mother or wife, a good enough daughter?  What do you want of me?  What do you wish of me?  I will follow you wherever you want me to go and do whatever you want me to do for the rest of my life.  Oh Lord, please just cure me!  Make this "silent killer" leave my body and let me get back to being the wife my husband needs, and the mother my children need.

Well, that didn't happen at that time.  I can look back now at where I am in my life.  I can see that God was pruning me, he was leading me, he was instructing me with whatever I had to go through to become the person I am today.  I needed to go through the pain and the suffering so that I might have a ministry where I can understand the pain and needs of others like me.  In my wildest dreams I never dreamed he would bring me an Internet business that would become the vehicle where I talk to and encourage women from all over the world!  

Would I be here…right here…where I am today without all that I went through for 30 years?  Absolutely not!  Do you know that I can now thank God for His leading in my life to this very moment in time?  Well, I can!  Yes, I can thank Him that He gently molded me with His strong, loving hands so that I could become the person I am today.  I would have never made it right here, right now, on my own — without Him.  I thank Him every single day for the people I come in contact with, including some who desperately need encouragement. 

Yes, God did answer these prayers.  He began answering them many years later.  During those extremely painful years, I went through much more than I have ever told anyone.  In order to offer help and encouragement to those who are emailing me almost every day, it is time to talk. 

My pain was unbearable.  The clothes I wore had to be very loose — they hurt my body if they weren't.  I couldn't sleep — or if I did, I was awakened by terrible nightmares and tremors.  I was in bed for months… so many months, I can't remember how long.  In fact, I have blocked out part of that time period…tried to forget it.  I would guess it was close to 2 years.  I couldn't sit up for very long at all because my muscles could not hold my body up.  I couldn't take care of my young children, so as my husband left for work everyday, we had to get our boys up early so he could take the three of us to my mother's house.  She took care of us while Steve was at work…until he picked us up on his way home. 

There were many trips to the emergency room when my blood pressure spiked so high that I felt I was dying.  I could only wear bedroom shoes because any other shoes used muscles in my legs which would become so weak I couldn't stand.  I couldn't bear any noise — even the crackling of a fire in the fireplace made me feel like fireworks were exploding in the back of my head.  So, two young children running around and playing were sounds that were terrifying to me, instead of cherished, memorable sounds that I should have LOVED as did most Moms.  During these hard times, I went for five years not being able to even drive a car.  After several years of this, I truly thought I would never have the life that I had always dreamed of and desired.  I was angry at God but functioned as well as I could, so no one truly knew the pain and agony that was going on in my body, heart, and soul.

In my next post:  healing, joy, pain relief, redemption…more miracles than I could EVER begin to describe to another living soul.